Pregnancy & Birth - Part 2
Nothing worked.
Acupuncture, spinning babies, playing music to my belly, bribing with promises of ice cream… I was called on a Thursday night and told not to eat anything after 9pm, I would be having my c-section the next day at 2pm. We arrived at the hospital at 1:45 and we were told to leave because they weren’t ready for us, but not to go far because they might be ready for us at any moment. We weren’t asked to come into the building until 3:30 and we spent that hour and a half walking about the hospital grounds and surrounding neighborhoods feeling a bit like Mary and Joseph looking for a place to birth their baby when all the inns were full. I was taken into a hazmat room with a terribly loud air filtration system and there I would wait until 8:30pm when I was taken in for my surgery. Aside from the strong focus on food after a forced 24 hour fast while supporting the life of an 8lb baby at 41 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I mentally prepped myself for what was to come next.
Shortly, I would have my body sliced open, in one of the most invasive surgeries, while I lay paralyzed in a crucifix position. My husband and I comforted each other by recounting the beautiful moments of the pregnancy, the hikes, the waterfalls and other adventures we had together with our little family. I was thankful that the OB spoke up for us and managed to get the operating team to allow my husband to be in the OR with us – something that was supposed to be off limits for a covid patient. She really did her best to make us feel like humans that day. When my son came out, I heard his cry for the first time and immediately started sobbing, it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I knew my life would be so wonderfully different from that moment on. I did not get to hold my son skin to skin immediately but my husband was my stand in while I was being sewn up in the OR. I remember my son crying until Brian walked to him and said, “Hi, it’s okay, I’m here, I’m your dad” Baby immediately settled down and I will never forget that moment. I knew he felt safe.
After about an hour, we were finally united as a family and holding my baby on the outside was such a wonderful and scary experience. He looked just like his dad and I loved that, because there is no one I love more.
What comes next?
The hospital stay was certainly not comfortable, and in many ways not kind. Thankfully my surgeon had humility for me and really demanded that my birth plan was adhered to. In reflection, I was thankful for my covid diagnosis because I was given days to process the loss of my natural birth, days to try to flip the baby naturally and we were largely left alone in our room. For the first 24 hours I felt absolutely nothing as my spinal block continued to work and once that period was over, I would get my first taste of just how difficult recovery would be while managing motherhood and a newborn.